Christian Cosmo is the conversation that I wish someone started with me when I was in high school. Yes, "The Talk" can be awkward and scary. It's a huge responsibility to should as the one discipling a younger woman (or man—given that this book was written by a woman for women, however, I'll be addressing this post to women). Yes, I have a loving mother who did her best to instruct me in the importance of saving myself, but I never connected the dots between purity and love for Christ. The same can be said for many young women out there.
Because of the lack of connection, many, like me, stopped and will stop following Christ. Fewer still will return unless we open the doors for an honest conversation about sex.
Phylicia does just that in Christian Cosmo.
WHAT I LIKE
"Sexual freedom was God's idea first.
Learn to see your sexuality through the eyes of Christ - not the opinions of our culture."
- Phylicia Masonheimer
A POSITIVE, OPEN DISCUSSION ON SEX
I appreciate how Phylicia not only opens the discussion to sex but provides a positive, encouraging attitude to the topic. We live in a culture where the church is all too often scared to broach the topic outside of a "save yourself for marriage." When the church is silent on the topic of sex, the world gets to be the authority on it. And the media propagates the message of a church that fears sex (and legalizes purity) and the image of a culture that revels in sexual freedom.
Phylicia's book is here to tell us that sex is good—in marriage—and she explains why in light of the Bible. She doesn't leave us searching for the answers on our own.
THE BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE ON SEX AND SEXUALITY
If you've ever wondered what the Bible has to say on sex, sexual sin, and purity, you're not alone. If you were raised in the church like me, you grew up learning that sex is to be saved for your marriage. Chances are that you weren't given any Biblical reasons outside of Paul's words on sexual immorality (1 Corinthians).
To provide a Biblical foundation for her book, Phylicia references verses and passages across the Bible, from the Old Testament stories to the apostles' letters. Furthermore, she doesn't just tell us the don'ts but the reasons for the do's. (E.g. She moves from "Don't engage in extramarital sex" to "Do live a holy life as Jesus did.")
CONNECTS SEX TO SPIRITUAL PURITY
All too often, the conversation on sex and the Bible has narrows its focus to sexual purity. Unless we understand and embrace the spiritual nature of Biblical purity, we cannot truly live a life of purity. Phylicia explains how spiritual purity sets the standard for other areas of our life, including physical purity.
DOESN'T SHAME NON-VIRGINS
The goal of Phylicia's book isn't to make virgins of us all. If so, many would fail the test, including married women. The goal is to educate women on sexual purity and how to embrace it moving forward regardless of your sexual past. She provides examples from the lives of different women in the Bible to illustrate how our sexual pasts do not define us. God's redeeming grace does.
PROVIDES A POSITIVE ACTION PLAN
Who's tired of being given a list of do's and don'ts? (Especially when you aren't given the why's or next-step items.)
Phylicia moves beyond a simple sex talk to share how we can preach the gospel through our sexuality (chapter 10).
A NOTE ON WHAT TO EXPECT
AN INTRODUCTION TO THE TOPIC
This book is not the "be all, end all" to the conversation on sex. Christian Cosmo provides an introduction to the Biblical perspective on sex, but it doesn't engage in a lengthy discourse on the subject. Phylicia's expertise is in writing blog posts; the writing style of this book reflects her background as a blogger.
Christian Cosmo reads like a series of articles. In fact, much of the content comes from Phylicia's blog posts on sexuality with added content. She also links some posts that are good references but not necessarily pertinent to the immediate conversation at hand.
In the end, at 57 pages (according to Goodreads—the book launch edition is 83 pages), this book is intended to start the conversation but not end it. If you're interested in reading further on particular aspects of the conversation, check out Appendix III, which provides a list of helpful resources, three of which are linked below. (See the "YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE..." section.)
FRANK TALK ABOUT SEX
Yes, this book talks about sex. It goes into detail on some types of sex and topics related to sex. Most of this happens in Chapter 2, which provides an introduction to the physical nature of sex for those with limited to no sexual education.
If you're easily flustered, you might want to hold off reading this chapter in public. If you've struggled with lust, you probably don't want to read it alone in the bedroom.
Do you need to read this chapter to understand the rest of the book? No, you don't. That said, a basic understanding of sex is important to dispelling any myths you may have heard.
Christian Cosmo is intended to help women develop an understanding of sex based on the principles of God's Word and celebrate their sexuality according to God's design. It is assumed that the reader has a basic understanding of Christian principles. There are many references to the Bible and discussion of Biblical topics.
That said, even if you are not well-read in the Bible, questioning your faith, or not a Christian, you can still read this book as long as you have an interest in learning about sex from the Biblical perspective.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
To give you an idea of what this book is about, here are the chapter headings:
- Reclaiming Sex From the Culture
- Reframing Sex in Your Mind
- Why God Designed Sex for Marriage
- What if I’m Not a Virgin?
- How to Live as a Forgiven Woman
- Why Sex Won’t Stop Your Lust Struggle
- What to Know About the Wedding Night
- How to Overcome a Sexual History
- The Truth About Fantasy
- Preach the Gospel With Your Sexuality
The book also has three appendixes:
- I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity And It Was The Best Thing I Ever Did
- Birth Control
- Helpful Resources
Phylicia has written Christian Cosmo to teach Biblical truths about sex. This is a different kind of read than what I usually share on the blog. (Longtime readers of the blog know that I usually shy away from books that talk about sex so frankly.) However, I believe that this is an important read that presents another way of looking at our sexuality in light of the Bible.
If you've ever struggled with sexual sin, with drawing boundaries in dating relationships, or with seeing sex as a good thing - if you don't know anything about sex - this book is designed for you!
The book is worth $10 to Phylicia, but she is offering it on a "pay what you can" model starting from $5. If you can't afford the full $10, you are welcome to pay less, and those who wish to donate to her ministry can offer more. For more information on the book and how to purchase it, visit her page here.
Christian Cosmo is the sex talk many girls never get. Rather than learn about sex from the culture, Christian Cosmo answers sexual questions from a Scriptural standpoint. By reframing sex for the single girl, we lay the foundation for God-honoring marriages and end the stigma on female sexuality.
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CHAT WITH ME
How does the knowledge that your purity is your evangelism affect how you view sexuality? Who will you tell (about this book or what you learned from it?)
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this novel from the author. All thoughts expressed are my personal honest opinions.