For those of you expecting Kris, it's me this week. Sorry for the disappointment (not really).
Q. What are you doing to prepare for an upcoming zombie apocalypse and/or the return of Mel Gibson to the silver screen?
(Both of which could be terrifying.)
Nothing. I'm not going to prepare for the upcoming zombie apocalypse. You know why? (This is where I grin and flash my super long canines) Because I'm a vampire! Eat that, zombies! I sparkle in the su--wait, what am I talking about? I don't sparkle in the sun, sorry about that. But I do eat zombies. They taste like chicken. Overcooked, fatty, oily chicken, but still. Chicken. Which is why, when the apocalypse comes... I WILL EAT THEM ALL! Meanwhile, I'm going to go to Park 'n' Shop and buy soy sauce, pepper, and paprika.
Mel Gibson... say what? I'm just... going to... walk away now... slowly....